“Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry…”
— James 1:19
I really do want to be good.
I want to be the kind of woman who is patient with her husband, gentle with her children, kind to people, and most importantly, lives in a way that reflects God.
And then… suddenly I start to spiral.
I'm tired. I'm stressed. The house is a mess. I've repeated myself 47 times. I've got a million things running through my head and one little thing happens…
And there goes my mouth.
Sometimes the words are out before I even realize I've said them.
And I hate that.
Because usually after I've calmed down, I'm sitting there thinking, Why did I say that? Why did I let myself get that angry? That's not the woman I'm trying to be.
But I think that's something I've been learning about walking with God.
Wanting to live by His Word doesn't mean I'm suddenly going to get everything right.
I'm still going to struggle. I'm still going to lose my patience sometimes. I'm still going to have moments I'm not proud of.
The difference is now I feel it when I don't handle something the way I should have.
And maybe that's part of God working on me.
“In your anger do not sin… and do not give the devil a foothold.”
— Ephesians 4:26–27
That verse has really been on my heart.
Because I truly believe the enemy knows exactly when to sneak in.
When we're exhausted.
When we're stressed about money.
When the kids have been wild all day.
When there's tension in our marriage.
When we're overwhelmed and already running on empty.
Those are the moments when one little thing can turn into a big argument. When we say something we don't really mean. When our tone becomes ugly. When being right suddenly feels more important than being loving.
And sometimes we can do a whole lot of damage in five minutes of anger.
Especially with our words.
I can't take back something once I've said it. I can apologize… and I absolutely should… but that person still heard it.
So lately my prayer has been pretty simple:
Lord, help me catch my mouth before my mouth gets me in trouble.
Help me recognize when I'm overwhelmed before I take it out on the people I love.
Help me walk away when I need a minute.
Help me apologize when I'm wrong without trying to explain away what I did.
And when the enemy sees me tired, stressed, frustrated and vulnerable, help me recognize what's happening before I give him a foothold.
I don't want to just post Bible verses.
I don't want to just know what God's Word says.
I want to actually live it.
And sometimes living it looks a whole lot less like having everything together and a whole lot more like saying,
Lord… I messed that one up. Please help me do better next time.
I'm a work in progress.
And thank goodness He's still working on me. 🤍
“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
— Proverbs 15:1
Sincerely,
Fowler homestead
