Lately, I’ve been really proud of myself.
Proud of my writing, proud of my home, and proud of pushing myself past my comfort zone.
But over the weekend, after a very stressful week, I’ve been thinking and reflecting…
Am I really living up to the things I’m writing about? Am I reading my Bible? Am I praying? Am I checking myself before I let my emotions and anxiety speak for me?
The honest truth is no.
This week was a hard one. It was everyday stressors, but the enemy kept taking the small winds and turning them into tornadoes. And I let myself lose sight of what truly needs to take priority in my life.
I think sometimes I get so caught up in everything I want to do, everything I need to fix, and everything that could go wrong that I forget to stop and give it to God. I tell myself that I trust Him, but then I turn around and try to control everything on my own.
Holding myself accountable means admitting that I have not been handling things the way I know I should. It means admitting that I have let stress affect the way I think, the way I react, and the way I speak. I have allowed my anxiety to become louder than my faith.
That does not mean I am a failure or that I should not be proud of the progress I have made. It just means I still have work to, l do.
I need to slow down. I need to pray before I react. I need to open my Bible instead of reaching for my phone. I need to remember that not every worry deserves to take up space in my mind, and not every little wind has to become a tornado.
Most importantly, I need to stop giving God what is left of me. He needs to come first. Nl ot after the chores, the plans, the worries, and everything else I convince myself has to be handled right now.
So, I am holding myself accountable. Not to shame myself, but to redirect myself, take a breath, turn back toward God, and remember what truly matters.
- Fowler Homestead
